When you enter into a relationship you never think about it ending. All you are thinking about is how much fun you are having, how much the other person makes you happy & how much you might end up loving them. It can sometimes be a shock when they do end, well for most people. We never think of the expiration date attached to the relationship.
So when it does end, how, do we move on with grace, & how do we let go of the past & move forward. Everyone seems to think that it’s a week of ‘grieving’ per month. I think it’s all depends on the impact the other person had on your life is how you figure out how long you need to grieve. My last relationship we were only together for about 2-3 months. But the impact he had on me was such a big one. I fell for him, fast and hard. He broke down my walls pretty quickly & the chemistry we had (whether he felt it or not), was something I never felt before. To this day, I still am ‘grieving’ what we had.
Moving on with grace is hard, you might have to follow some steps to make it work. I found this article by my favorite online magazine, Thought Catalog. The article is called The 7-Step Plan To Get Over Someone And Move On With Your Life. After reading this article I would have to agree with some of the steps. So the steps they have are; No Contact, Remove Mementos, Create Lots Of Distractions, Vent, Shut Up, Be Kind And Optimistic, & Stay Strong And Repeat.
So let’s go through the steps. Definitely do not contact the other person at all. If you contact them then you keep opening yourself up, you keep opening the wounds. That is something you should not do if you are trying to move on. Delete everything, phone number, pictures, remove/block from social media, etc…
With me, creating distractions was something I needed to do. Did it work, yes & no. It worked sometimes but not all time. I had moments where I just went out to a brewery or a bar/restaurant to distract myself from what was going on. It had taken its toll on me, so I just started this blog more. I wrote more on it to let it out and I spent more time with family.
I continue to VENT! Lol. Even know I’m still venting about it. But you need to understand who you should & shouldn’t vent to. Some people will say they are there for you, but then they aren’t. But if you are going to really vent, what I learned to do was vent through this blog or a journal. Venting can really help and it can make a difference.
I don’t agree with the shut up one, only because why should you, why should you stop talking about it. Whatever you are going through someone might be going through something similar & it could help them. Maybe not talk so much about it to certain people. You need to pick the people that have your best interest in heart. Which can be difficult. But all I can say about this is listen to yourself.
The last two I think are the most important on moving on with grace after a relationship ends. Staying strong is key, you need to stay strong from the moment it ends. If you can’t stay strong than you should be optimistic that things will get better. I have moments when I’m weak, & all I wanted to do is hide away &never get out. But I knew (and still know) that someone better is going to come along, & you have to do the same. You never want to stoop to that level of being negative & rude. You should always be kind, be optimistic & stay strong, no matter what.
So many things go on in someone’s head & heart when a relationship ends. But finding things to focus on, dealing with the pain, being strong & optimistic as well as removing things that remind you of him. It will hurt and it does take time. But dealing with the pain will help make you feel a tad better. I promise you that moving on with grace is what everyone ends up doing. You just need to be strong and brave for as long as you can. Even if you have to fake it for a bit. Time will heal the pain & so will you being who you are. Don’t disappear.
Good luck & take your time with moving on & that will be graceful!